


Wrestling for the controller

by Critique_Masochist



Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Angst, Ares tries to kill Aiolos a few times but that part isnt the romantic part, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I can't write not humor apparently, Light Bondage, M/M, Nightmares, Sickfic, angst for the sake of fluff, any critique is very welcome :3, i really love this fic XD, looking at these tags i sure would love this fic, very light
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-08 23:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16438472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Critique_Masochist/pseuds/Critique_Masochist
Summary: Ares can only remain in control as long as Saga is emotionally weakened.Because Saga started dating Aiolos, this hasn’t happened in over 6 months- until one day Saga gets sick. Finally, Ares can come out. He has been locked up for far too long and he is furious.What will Aiolos do?Is there good inside the monster?Why is this an Ares fic with no rape?Read to find out…





	1. I’m still here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so a bit of background information:  
> Athena is the ruler of the sanctuary, Ares has been defeated and Saga is now Athena’s right-hand man. 7 months have passed since and the sanctuary has become a small tourist attraction for normal people to visit. Also, Saga and Aiolos are romantic.   
> Also also KANON ISNT IN THIS.   
> Saga and Ares are in this and they call each other brother because I think they should.

I was in the mindscape, as usual. This forest like and surreal place used to be somewhere I occasionally visited to relax… these days it was the home of discarded personalities, aka me.

I was lying on the grass under two large pine trees, searching the ground for a fucked up looking grass piece. I was bored to tears, moaning and stretching.

I had assumed today was going to be another agonizingly empty day… which is why feeling the earthquake shake my body was so unexpected. It made me jump to my feet. Could it be? It had been forever since the last quake. I unconsciously let out a scream of joy! Saga was being weakened; it was time for me to come out!

He has always been mentally weak and whenever he got too stressed out, he would crawl into the depths of his mind and shut off for a while, like a hurt lizard or an earthworm.

 

I ran around searching for the earthworm and found him whimpering near a lake, predictably in tears. Barely able to contain my excitement, I looked down on the pathetic figure that I called brother.

He was sobbing about what he had planned for next week and how now was such a terrible time to be sick and how he didn’t know what to do, basically being pathetic.

I had a big smug smile on my face. I danced around him happily, soaking in the feeling of superiority.

“Remind me how you are EVER in control mister cry-baby?”

My hate filled words made things worse. Good! That meant I would get to be me even longer!

I knew WHY he was always in control; it was because of that Aiolos cunt. He has always been so good at reasoning and making this bag of laundry realize that if he just got up and tried to fix the problem the problem would magically disappear. Honestly Saga should be able to do that himself but… who cares. I stopped thinking and fixed my hair.

“Who cares, that’s my job anyway.”

It was time to get shit done.

 

I opened my eyes. It was like heaven regaining touch, magical being able to actually interact with things instead of just knowing that my brother was making all of the choices on my behalf as I helplessly watch in silence.

As soon as I regained control of my legs I got out of bed and opened the door to my room in search for a person. I found one, a servant looking proper girl. I vaguely remembered talking to her before. Saga’s memories. He knew this girl.

“EY! Hold up! Tell me, what the fuck have I planned for next week?”

The servant was clearly terribly confusing by my attitude and the strangeness of my question.

She searched my face for an explanation, some hint of humour maybe. When she realized that I didn’t give a shit she quickly answered my question. Apparently, Saga had planned some sort of dance and get this: he was going to ask Aiolos to dance and it was supposed to be the highlight of the dance. WOW. Saga, the guy who couldn’t even handle being Pope, had planned to dance in front of a lot of people. He pretty much dug his own grave.

 

I giggled like a child and told the servant that I wouldn’t be attending the dance and that she should arrange some other highlight for it. She didn’t ask why I wouldn’t be attending which was worrying. Did I just really look THAT bad or… does she know.

Saga has always tried to keep me a secret but ever since he became Athena’s right hand man, he has actually managed to do so. I clenched my fists at the thought. Athena’s kind nature and the love and support from his fellow saints actually managed to supress me until now. Seriously, fuck those guys, I thought they were my friends. I was their leader, I WAS POPE, but nooooo, just because I’m not the REAL Saga they are going to ignore be and hide me and try to get rid of me FOREVER. I hate them. I hate all of them.

I casually slammed the bedroom door in the servant’s face, locked it, and jumped on the bed. I rolled around as I realized how fucking long it had been since the last time that I was out. It must have been half a year... or something. I‘m not sure. Time passes strangely when you are alone in the mindscape.

 

I coughed. Right… I’m sick or whatever. I should deal with that as well. I wondered about whether I should actually go to a doctor or if I should just screw being a responsible brother and enjoy this new-found freedom. I’ve missed being able to blink, I’ve missed the sensation of everything, even pain. Doing anything sounded fun. I thought about how much I cared about Saga. I understood him. But I didn’t like him... at all. And I suppose I should TRY to not get us killed... but it had been so long since I’ve had any fun.

So I decide to have fun.

 


	2. A brief glimpse through Aiolos eyes

Tamara had just finished telling me about Saga’s weird behaviour when she noticed something behind me and pointed at it.

I was quite tired and merely glanced at what she was looking at until I realized WHAT she was looking at. It had been 7 months since Saga has started healing. Things had been going insanely well, I realized. He was talking to people, being sociable and I even heard rumours that he had helped a lot in arranging the next big dance.

 

I looked at the giant hot air balloon in defeat. Things had been going so well…

I looked closer. Saga was half naked... and throwing stuff at people. He also seemed to be singing/yelling the lyrics to “singing in the rain” but of course he didn’t know all the lyrics because ARES could never remember all of the lyrics. Christ... its him again.

“Um... Aiolos, sir? What shall we do?”

“Don’t worry, he does that sometimes. I’ll deal with it.”

“He just... does stuff like This??”

“Yes. I know it’s weird but he only ever does it when he is really stressed out.”

“Ah, I see. Um, good luck Sir!”

I sighed. “I’ll need it.”

I wiped the tired expression off my face. It wasn’t JUST that he was humiliating Saga, he was also using MY hot air balloon to do it. I just recently got permission from Athena to purchase the thing, told her it was going to be used for sight-seeing purposes but honestly, I just wanted to be in the sky alone with Saga.

I love him, and I would have loved to see his face when he realized that we are going on a romantic hot air balloon ride... just him and me. What a surprise it would have been… but that’s not going to happen now because Ares already found it and now this stupidity is probably going to be all he’ll think of whenever I dare to suggest a ‘romantic hot air balloon ride’. Godamn it… I unfolded my wings.

 

Back to Ares’ pov *insert cool transition*

Gracefully, I grabbed another sandbag to tear open.

_“I'M SINGING IN THE RAIN!”_ I threw sand at the tourists under me.

_“JUST SINGING IN THE RAIN!”_ I crushed a guy with a half empty sandbag.

_“WHAT A GLORIOUS FEELING- I’M HAPPY AGAIN!”_ My hair moved dramatically as the wind blew it away from my shoulders. My body was shivering but I didn’t care at all because I was having a fucking BLAST!

_“I’M CRUSHING ALL THE ANTS!”_ I turned down the fire behind me specifically for the children under me to see my fingers flipping them off.

_“WHO TRIED TO KEEP ME DOWN!”_ Fuck you people.

_“YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD STOP ME-_ _LOOK WHO’S LAUGHING NOW!”_

The fire had gone out and I only realized that when the bottom of the balloon hit the ground. I was knocked back as the balloon crashed into people and dust. My ears were ringing and I was unsure of what had just happened, I looked around. In my dazed confusion, I briefly saw that little bitch and then I lost consciousness.


	3. You’re sick

I woke up feeling terribly dry and thirsty. It was difficult swallowing and my eyes burnt. I lifted my heavy body to look around. I was surrounded my old looking walls and a wooden floor. There was no wood in the sanitary, I decided I was probably in a hotel or in one of the servant’s rooms. There was very little furniture in the room, a few cabinets, a sink and just generally ugly things. Aiolos fit into that last category.

I smirked.

“Hey, love.”

“Ares, I bloody know it’s you.”

“Uuuuh! Using swear words, you’re so intimidating.” Every word hurt but seeing his disgusted expression made it worth it. I decided I had missed talking to people. (Yelling at them doesn’t count.)

“Lay down, you’re sick.” He didn’t even let me come up with a clever reply, he just pressed my face into the pillow.

“UMPH- HEY, I’M THIRSTY!”

“Don’t yell, I can hear you…” Aiolos looked really tired. Good, maybe I could get away.

 

As he turned around to get water I got up and immediately regretted it. Moving made me feel disoriented and dizzy but it also seemed that I really couldn't move my legs… Oh, wait. My legs were tied together tightly. I laughed, it hurt.

“Wow… are you going to fuck me after this is done? Is this foreplay for you?”

“Nope, for once bondage is actually bondage. I don’t want you doing something stupid-” He glared at me. “-AGAIN.”

I laughed. The leather straps were forcing my ankles and knees together but if I wanted to, I could easily bite my way through them. My hands were free after all, I could probably try to choke Aiolos too.

I gave him an innocent look as he handed me a large glass of water. I took a sip and spit it in his face before I quickly jumped on him to get closer to his throat. He pulled me close and yelped as our weight smashed him into the floor. I was stunned by the impact and even more stunned at the speed at which Aiolos recovered.

He instantly got on top of me, putting my hands behind my back and pushing me into the floor boards. I cried out in pain and whimpered like Saga would which made him push me even harder.

“LET GO!”

“Stop yelling!”

“You’re yelling too!” I was tearing up. What the hell?? Was it the dusty floor or was the fever actually getting to me?

 

Aiolos sat me up, if only to see if he had accidentally destroyed the face of his loved one. He seemed equally surprised at my tears.

“You got dust in my eyes.” I hissed.

He didn’t answer, it annoyed me.

“Did you like my song?”

“You mean the one from yesterday?”

“Yesterday?”

“You’re really sick.” There was a level of seriousness in his voice that made me very uncomfortable. It was only his voice though, I didn’t really care about my health because I knew that this douchbag wouldn’t let me die. I sighed.

“I get that a lot!”

“I mean you’re ill. Really. I know you’re all about being crazy and doing whatever but if you could just not do all of those things for a day that would help me a lot.”

I looked at him blankly. “Why would I ever want to help you?”

He petted my hair, I swatted his hand like a fly.

 

What was he doing? What was he searching for? He looked me right in the face looking for a hint of giving a shit but found none.

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to actually believe that you are the same person.” he said blankly.

“WE’RE NOT!” I slammed my fists into the ground, making Aiolos jump. I overreacted. I swore silently as I realized that I had let him get to me. I clenched my teeth in anger.

The saint lifted my chin with his hand and I trembled under his gaze. What was making me tremble? Was it anger? Was it embarrassment? Why was I suddenly so emotional??

I growled silently. He wasn’t supposed to ever see me like this.

It was definitely the illness, it’s making me act nonsensical. I never acted like that, I never ‘showed emotion’.

That was not how I did things.

I made the climate warmer with sheer hatred and replaced all the vaporized water with the tears of everyone who ever cared about Saga, so that the tumour that is me could finally grow again.

That was me. That was what I did.

Just like last time.

My hatred fuelled me; I knew I could make it happen again. It would be just like old times. Me in control and Saga in his place. Sweet sweet control, I couldn’t wait to have it back.

Aiolos went too far and caressed my face.

“Saga... is that you?”

 

He yelped when I bit his hand. Wow, I had acted so strangely that this moron had thought for as long as a second that I was my brother. I hid my face in shame.

“Saga, is that you? Keep fighting him.”

“I’m Ares. I’m nothing like Saga.” I hissed.

Aiolos looked confused… and then worried, I didn’t understand him at all.

“So, it’s still you...” he attempted to touch my forehead and another filthy hand was swatted. I growled softly, much to his annoyance.

“You look really pale and you’re not acting like yourself, will you just let me help?”

“Go away.”

“You know I won‘t.”

He pinned me down again and I let in. I was too tired to fight back. My escape attempt had left me exhausted. That and the ‘being constantly slammed into the floor.

Things seemed very confusing, more so than ever. I whimpered and screamed when Aiolos grabbed me by my hair and forced me back into bead, making absolutely sure that I didn’t get the chance to attack him again.

I did my best to try and bite him for touching my hair with his disgusting hands but he didn’t let me. He even went as far as pushing my head into my pillow until I stopped yelling.

My breathing became heavy and I felt completely drained. My vision was starting to blur but I could still make out Aiolos looming over me. I growled and hid behind the pillow. The blurry saint sighed.

“I’m really not sure if I would tie up your hands as well… Oh, I nearly forgot-”

I couldn’t make out the rest. A heavy feeling came over me as I lost control. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t barely tell that somebody was tugging at my clothes. It was nice to distance myself from reality, from this empty room full of hate… I drifted into a void…

 

Aiolos splashed water on my face and I jumped. I coughed and squinted and tried to get my arms to wipe away the dripping water off my face. I vaguely felt Aiolos drying my hair with a towel.

“I got you water. If I remember correctly, drinking water was what you wanted to do before you spit it out.”

Unable to get my fingers to flip him off, I returned to my defensive position behind the pillow. “Just let me sleep.”

I yelped as the saint grabbed the back of my neck, moving me up into a sitting position. He brought my back to his chest and squeezed my throat between him and his elbow, then he politely offered me the water with his other hand.

 

I was feeling heavy and drunk and it was hurting my brain to think of something annoying to do. He gave me time to ponder until I gave up and finally drank the water. I noticed some of the blur fading from my vision and blood reaching my skull.

“See? It’s so much easier when you just do as I say.”

I said nothing, I knew defeat and how to take it. Childish bickering and whining would do me no good. I went limp as soon as he let go of me, forcing him to put my body back into the position I was before.

I closed my eyes and thought about the mindscape and Saga and how things had escalated to such ridiculous extremes today… or well, yesterday.

I wondered how long Aiolos had gone without sleep.

 


	4. Cuts and Blankets

Aiolos was sleeping when I woke up.

I looked down at him from my bed, he was sleeping on a silly makeshift bed made out of exactly one blanket that he was sleeping on.

I wasn’t sure whether to feel supreme, since I had both the high ground and the better sleeping material… or weak, since he had given me all of this. I decided to feel insulted and hate filled, like I usually felt.

The room we were in had no widows, presumably to hide the fact that I was clearly way more hostile than a right-hand man really should be. They wouldn’t want passer-by’s to see my true nature now would they? I didn’t really care but it was making it difficult to tell what time it was.

I was also very boring.

 

I silently watched Aiolos breathing for a while. Should I wake him up? I didn’t feel up to it, strangely. Maybe I was dying… I hoped I was. _It would sadden Aiolos, wouldn’t it?_

I smirked to myself before rolling around to stare at the ceiling. The soft light from under the door was illumination the room enough to make the ceiling drawings visible. Beautiful angels and shiny saints were cluttered together to gaze upon the glory of the Goddess Athena.

I never really found her to be that amazing but that was probably because of the weak mortal human body she was using. Maybe with age she would become more powerful… I couldn’t believe she forgave us though… what a crazy person.

I tried to kill her! Why didn’t she want to kill me too? She must be as stupid as Aiolos. I mean, if he was actually smart, he wouldn’t be dating my brother.

I sighed before returning my attention to the sleeping saint. He looked like he really needed that sleep. I wondered why in the world he decided to sleep without even a second blanket to cover himself but that’s Aiolos for you.

His features were quite handsome… if our roles were different, I would have considered loving him. If his worldview was different, he could have been my only friend. If he only believed that I was the true owner of this body, I’m sure things would be different.

I remembered all the times that I, no, all the times that Saga kissed him. The feeling of his soft lips touching mine and the strong sensation of lust that grew in Saga whenever he was around flooded into my brain. Normal but disgusting emotions. Not _my_ emotions.

I tried to close my eyes and go back to sleep but I couldn’t. Of course, I couldn’t, I knew that the second things got better I would lose control again. I knew the moment this illness faded; I would disappear with it. I shivered. I couldn’t stop shivering. Something was wrong. The feeling of cold was paralyzing and it barely helped when I curled up into a ball. I shivered and cursed the gods under my breath.

“What a terrible time to be in control…”

 

The blanket wasn’t helping at all so I threw it at the sleeping saints face. I watched as it made impact and had absolutely no effect. I cursed my own weakness and I clutched my legs in a desperate attempt to find some warmth within me.

Nothing was working.

I felt a strange combination of panic and euphoria confused my brain. Was I really dying?

In blissful panic I tried to think of something positive for once, anything, anything that would make me feel any better. I remembered the fascinated and proud gazes of the Saints back when I was Pope. I remembered how every word I spoke was well calculated and listened to. I remembered how my every order was heard and executed.

I remembered being… important, smart, wise and respected. I was none of those things now.

I couldn’t hold back my tears. Biting my fingers usually helped silence the noise and calm me down but it barely made a difference. I bit and sobbed silently until I tasted blood.

Blood helped a bit. It reminded me that I could kill them. I could just purge this world of all the things that make me so miserable. I could do that if I could only… I sighed.

Be healthy.

But then I wouldn’t be in control. Tears started forming again. Emotions of helplessness and despair flooded through me. I pulled at my hair. What did I ever do to deserve this?

I was a good pope! I did my job better than anyone else ever could! Athena deserved to die, that fake pope deserved to die, our enemies deserved to die! In a place where death is so common, why in the world did everybody agree that I in particular was more evil than any other?

 

The sound of movement made me stop. Stop thinking, that is, I couldn’t for the life of me stop shivering.

“Oh… thanks for the blanket… I must have fallen asleep. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” I tried to make that sound as convincing as possible but the Aiolos wasn’t blind. He noticed I was shivering and in distress very quickly. He was next to me before I knew it. I quickly cleaned my face of tears as he put the blanket back on my trembling form.

“It’s not helping, that’s why I gave it to you.” I started pulling my own hair again. The pain helped with my emotions a lot. “Useless things go together.” I added.

Aiolos couldn’t help himself and put his filthy paws all over my forehead. I got under my blanket to escape him.

“You’re really burning up.” There was worry in his voice. “I’ll go get you some more water.”

“I don’t need water!” I hissed.

“Sure, you do. How else are you going to get better?”

“I don’t want to get better!” I sat up and looked him in the eyes. He was at the sink and he looked at me innocently, as if he did nothing wrong, as if he didn’t know. I got up.

“Hey, you should really not do that-“

 

He was making a worried sit-down motion. I don’t know how but I managed to walk over to him. I smiled, much to his confusion, as I took the glass of water from him. I surprised him even more as I drank it.

The cherry on the surprise cake was when I smashed the empty glass on his head and gave him a giant cut on the chest with a second swipe. The sight of blood made me smile.

He grabbed my armed hand but I turned and lifted him over my shoulder before smashing him down onto the broken glass. I had assumed the shock would make him let go of my hand but I was wrong. I struggled to slice him a third time but I couldn’t.

Aiolos pulled me down on the floor and quickly put me in a headlock and squeezed hard until I let go of the broken glass. The thought of the broken glass ripping through his shirt and scarring his precious clean back was enough to keep me from letting go for a while but not for long.

If I knew for sure that I could kill him I would have struggled more but- but I knew couldn’t.

I couldn’t kill him.

I couldn’t kill anyone.

I probably couldn’t even kill myself.

 

I screamed and struggled, desperately trying to get my weapon back as my vision darkened.

“Jesus! Calm down! What is wrong with you?!” he yelled.

Aiolos sat us both up, completely unphased and gave me some much-needed room to breathe. I choked and coughed and as soon as I caught my breath I bit into his arm as hard as I could.

I could tell it hurt because he went silent for a bit… before he changed the position of his arms. It was… it felt like… was it… a hug??

“Shh… calm down.” He was clearly in pain. GOOD. “Just relax for a moment, okay? It’s going to be alright. I know you’re confused but I’m not your enemy. I’m here to help. Trust me.”

I was happy he was hurt! I was but…!

 

Conflicting emotions came over me as I remembered how fucking long it had been since I was last hugged. I bit even harder.

“Ah. Come on! Stop!” he hissed out. “You’re not going to kill me, you know! You’re not even going to leave a scar, you’re too weak!”

That really got to me. Too weak to even scar even just one of the saints. That hurt. Aiolos sighed as I relaxed my bite just a bit. He got my hair out of my face and touched my forehead.

He sighed. “Still burning up… Huh… Saga is that-“

I made him eat those words as my teeth reached the bone. He hissed and squeezed my throat again, forcing me to let go. Again, I was pinned to the ground, my hands pushed painfully into my back. I couldn’t stop the tears. Aiolos didn’t move. I couldn’t move. There was silence around me, the only audible thing being my soft crying. Aiolos caressed my hair.

“I love you, you know.”

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I HATE YOU!” I screamed at the top of my longs, _it hurt like hell._

“Ugh, is it really still you??”

I growled like a hurt animal. “You have no clue how much despair I feel because you ungrateful pigs beat me down and left me to die for no good reason! I was a brilliant pope! I was doing my absolute best and then you filthy animals betrayed me! Do you know what it feels like to be shamed like this after all that effort?!”

“Actually yes.” He said. I heard the hate in his voice. The feeling was mutual after all… I went back to my sobbing. Aiolos sighed and picked me up in a bridal carry. He plopped me back into bed and covered me with two blankets.

 

I wasn’t shivering any more, thanks to the water but I was still crying, stuck in an emotional loop filled with loneliness and hurt. He looked down at me for a while and then sat down next to me on the bed. A few minutes passed by until he started petting me. He touched me like a mother touches a child, I wanted to murder him for trying to comfort me.

“I think you’re just lonely.”

I laughed. I WONDER WHY?

“I know exactly how it feels… they get rid of you and when you get back you see that everything was going perfectly fine without you. To realize that you were an extra gear in a clock and that nobody ever actually needed you to be there.”

I was silent. Aiolos continued.

“Back then, you were the only one who comforted me. Well, I mean Saga. He made me feel... needed, important. He made me part of the clock again. Don’t know what I would have done without his help…” he paused. “I want to return the favour.”

“I’m NOT Saga…” I snarled.

“…I know. I’m… sorry. I didn’t really think you were capable of… being sad. Just a strange figment of his imagination but…” he looked down at me while I glared at him with my red, teary eyes. “I know you’re a different person. But I couldn’t accept that until now.”

 

“Saga is the devil. He buried me in his subconscious for months. _I was so lonely.”_ I regretted saying that. I swallowed hard.

“It wasn’t just him… I encouraged it. I didn’t want you to come between us… but I encouraged him to lock you up, I see that now. I thought you would just… magically disappear when things got better. And for a while, you did! I didn’t know that… I’m sorry.” He sounded genuine but his apology meant nothing to me. “I’m going to help you, I promise.”

“Don’t.” I hissed.

“I mean it. I’m going to fix this mistake. I’ll make Saga let you out.”

That did the trick. The knot in my brain was untied. I was finally out of that endless loop of repeating thoughts and contradictions, everything reminding me of the fact that I would be _alone forever._

I was even fine with the illusion, the lie that things were going to be better from now on.

Anything but this dark depressive reality. I was still crying but I felt my breathing calm down. I hadn’t even realized how strangely I had been bending and twisting until now. My fingers were bloody and my hair hurt. When did I do all of this?

It hurt but I was feeling better. I closed my eyes and let the gentle sound of Aiolos promises put me to sleep.


	5. Fire and Smoke

_I was in the mindscape with Aiolos._

_It was just the two of us, I hadn’t realized how fun the mindscape could be when you aren’t alone! We played silly games like tag and hide and seek until I realized that he had vanished. I was all alone._

_At first, I thought he had hidden again but he wasn’t anywhere to be found. The sky was darkening with smoke, it had never done that before. I called out to him and told him I was scarred but he didn’t answer. There was a grey gush of wind that sounded like whispers. whispered to me all the things Saga said about me in my absence, all the times he mockingly told people he had locked me away._

_I covered my ears and tried to keep my ground, the wind was howling and pushing me off my feet with each accusation. The whispers told me that my own brother hated me and that Aiolos did too. It made too much sense for comfort._

_I was shivering again. A branch knocked me off my feet as it made impact with my leg. I saw burning trees pass by, all being blow away by the grey wind. It smelled of smoke._

_Then, there was the fire. I gasped in horror as I saw it through the ashen clouds. It was everywhere. The wind told me Aiolos did it. It told me it was the ultimate revenge. Revenge for all I had done to them… I yelped as I saw my hair catch fire!_

_I tried to stop it from spreading but it was instant, my entire head was on fire! I had never felt such a pain, white mind-numbing PAIN!_

_I tried to get away but I couldn’t, I tried to put it out but it was too late and I screamed as loud as I could but nobody cared! Nobody could hear me. I was in the mindscape after all. I had screamed for help here before… I dropped to my knees._

_My vision was blurry, my lungs were burning. I couldn’t breathe and everything hurt. Everything was scarred and black and it hurt. Darkness engulfed me. Cold, lonely, suffocating darkness. I couldn’t breathe. I screamed with the last breath I had and_ woke up with a jolt. I panted and coughed trying to get the smoke out of my lungs, I patted my hair trying to put it out-

 

Aiolos grabbed my hands but I wanted them back. I needed them! I told him to put out the fire but he wasn’t even listening! I panted and panted… until I realized I was alright. Everything was hurting. Each joint felt so old and rusty and my muscles were aching. I felt something hot drip down my back… but I was alright.

“You’re bleeding!” Aiolos let go of my hands and ran to get tissues. I continued panting. What had just happened? The voice of the wind was still in my ears… barely audible but yet present. I shook in fear. What had just happened?? I jumped when I felt a hand on my back.

“Relax, it’s just me.” he sounded concerned. He was always concerned. “I realized you had hurt your fingers but I didn’t think to look at your hair. What a mess… Did you pull at it even more in your dream?”

I was confused until I realized my fingers were bandaged up. Right… I remembered now.

Aiolos had calmed me down yesterday.

Was it yesterday? I clenched my teeth and tried to think. No, it couldn’t be, the blood on the bandages was still fresh. I tried to help Aiolos get my hair under control and he managed to tie it up nicely.

 

“You ripped out some skin here… I’ll get some ice. Hold this.” He gave me some tissues and I pressed them against the wound. It was burning. My hair… was burning. The nightmare… I must have really pulled it out in my sleep. I didn’t know I could do that. I couldn’t help but winze when he put ice on the still bleeding wound. I tried to calm my erratic breathing as he cleaned the wound. After a bit of searching he found quite a few more spots to ice so I assumed I had succeeded in damaging myself for no good reason.

Aiolos sighed as he sat down on the floor, resting his arms and head on my bed. I was still shaking.

“Huh? Oh no, are you cold?” he asked, reaching for my face with his stupid hands. I didn’t care.

“I had a nightmare.” I admitted. Aiolos couldn’t help touching my entire face again.

I had to remind myself that the dream wasn’t real Aiolos was… he was going to help me. Really actually help me.

I could only hope so.

Still, I hated the feeling of his touch on my skin. Aiolos sighed.

“Maybe some ice could help with the fever as well…” He turned his attention to my hands.

I moved them away before he could grab them again. “I’m fine.”

“What in the world did you dream about?”

 

I didn’t want to tell him about the wind, still howling at the back of my mind. “Nothing.”

“Ares you were screaming about your hair being on fire.”

I paused. “I was?”

He laughed softly. “And here I thought you were well enough for me to get some sleep.”

“I… I’m sorry for waking you up.” I didn’t quite know what to say.

“No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault.” He took one of my hands, despite my protest. “You have to stop biting these. Alright?”

I looked at the ceiling comically, ignoring the problem.

“Ares.” He was smiling.

“It’s my hand, I can do whatever I want to it.” I huffed.

“I thought you don’t like bondage.” Aiolos cute smirk was killing me.

“I don’t. Look, if I could stop, I would. I didn’t mean to… I was just.” My entire body was still aching. It felt like… like it had been forever since I last woke up, yet a the same time the pain hadn’t changed at all. It was as if no time at all had passed. “How long have I been asleep?”

 “It’s hardly been 3 hours...” He went silent. “Last time you were awake… I think you were having some sort of panic attack.” Aiolos he put a hand on my shoulder which a picked up and moved away. Not quite as forceful as slapping it away but it still sent the same message.

 

I didn’t want his affection.

 

I couldn’t really… _process it._

 

Aiolos frowned and went to get more ice. The few moments alone were agony but thankfully he returned quickly. I watched him prepare some cold water and a cloth.

“Are you feeling… you’re not feeling as bad as last time, right?” he asked. I was silent. “I’m sorry… I wish I had acted a bit sooner. I didn’t know what to do. When you cried, I always thought it was Saga. I’m sorry… I just… I thought it was you and Saga fighting.”

That made sense… that was probably what it looked like to an outsider.

Aiolos continued.

“I know what it feels like, I… I can’t believe I made you feel that way. Locking you up and… I’m so sorry. You know, back then, I’m glad Saga stopped me in time.”

I did remember that day. It was a very weird day, we never comforted, I mean Saga never comforted anyone before. It was a bizarre experience. The two cry-babies eventually worked things out but if it had just been me...

“When Saga found you crying that day... I didn’t know what to do for the first time.” I confessed. “I was so confused… you’re such a strong saint! I had assumed you were, well, unbreakable. I remember being disgusted by both of you. Accepting weakness like that, we had been specifically taught not to do that. But… but I suppose it’s only human to sometimes cry pathetically.”

“Really rubbing that pathetic part in my face, aren’t you?” he smirked.

“You were sobbing about being useless! If that isn’t pathetic, I don’t know what is.”

“Weird. I’m having flashbacks to three hours ago?”

“Right… about ‘being useless’”

There was something I had been meaning to tell him for a while.

He observed me silently before looking away, possibly remembering that day in more detail.

I remembered Saga telling him, ‘You matter to me.’

 

“You don’t matter to me.” I said, bluntly. Aiolos laughed. “But you do matter.”

He looked at me in utter confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You weren’t a useless gear. You were the one person who ruined me.” He stared, like a moron. “You protected Athena when nobody else did. You saved her life. You _ruined_ me.” I explained calmly.

I had already accepted my defeat. What I couldn’t accept was my current position. I wasn’t happy but… but he deserved to know that HE was the biggest reason behind my unhappiness.

He stared for a moment.

“Aww.” He smiled widely. Well, he should be happy… but maybe not this happy. Such a weird smile, I had only seen him so happy when Saga confessed his love for-

“I hate you.” I reminded him.

“Of course.” He lauhed.

 

I laughed as I watched the ‘always serious’ Aiolos lose his cool. He was only human… he made mistakes… I wasn’t like him, obviously but... I had started to like him quite a lot.

“It’s ok to cry.” He said.

I frowned at that. “It’s not ok for me.”

“You said it yourself, it’s only-“

“Human.” I finished his sentence. “Yes. But I’m supposed  to be better than other humans. I was made to lead them.” I put my hand on my chest gracefully and he groaned and rolled his eyes.

“You’re impossibly arrogant.”

I smiled at the insult. “I’m impossibly selfless.”

“Self-destructive maybe, yes.” We were silent for a while. “Hey… can I ask you something?”

Every part of my body was hurting and I was talking about crying to the person I tried to kill twice these past few days. Obviously, I nodded.

He seemed vary. “But, don’t get offended.”

“I know, I know. I was a HORRIBLE Pope; you can tell me that all you won’t and I still won’t believe you.”

“No, I’m not going to argue with you about that.” He paused. “Am I wrong in thinking that you have… well, no idea how to deal with your own emotions?”

My body locked up.

 

_What an insult._

Everything was hurting because of what I had done to myself. I had ruined my fingers and twisted my limbs in a way that had clearly damaged them. I had ripped out my own hair, I had cried, I had done atrocious, unforgivably weak acts.

If I had been alone, that would have been an appropriate way of dealing with my emotions. Yes.

But I hadn’t been alone.

I had ruined my image. It was a total mystery to me why this man was still showing me so much respect, to the point of trying to not offend me. I didn’t know what to do.

“Ares?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You don’t even know what to say…” he just laughed. It sounded pained, such a sad laugh.

Nobody spoke. I lay down again and buried my face in my pillow. It was so quiet. Aiolos poked me.

“Turn around.” He was waving the wet cloth around, making it drop everywhere. My annoyed look made him stop. I turned around. Facing him was difficult, I just wanted to be anywhere else.

But I shivered at the thought of being alone.

 

“Just relax.”

I did.

He put the wet cloth on my forehead and started gently massaging my scalp with his cold fingers. I closed my eyes. His movements were fluid and elegant and it almost made me stop wanting to hide from him. A lot of things that he did made me want to stop hiding. Hiding? Hiding what? His hands seemed to be radiate peace of mind, his cool fingers were irresistible. I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. They danced soft patterns down my neck, I loved it. I opened my eyes again when I heard him giggle.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You’re like a cat!”

He was leaning over me, towering above me with his hands on my neck, insulting me.

I pushed his leg from the side of my bed and he hitting the corner of the beds mattress before totally losing balance and landing on the floor. “Cats push stuff.”

“Ughh…”

“I’m sorry but you totally deserved that.” I helped him get back up.

He gave me an innocent look. “Want me to keep petting?”

I knew what he meant but I glared at him until he wiped the goofy expression off his face. I let him continue eventually. I don’t remember when I went back to sleep.


	6. Food and Headaches

I woke up with the cold cloth still on my forehead. My body was still really aching, especially my scalp. I had a headache too; my whole head was throbbing with each heartbeat. I pushed the wet cloth deeper into my skin, it gave me a brief sensation of relief.

“Good morning.”

I shushed him. Noise made the pain way worse.

“Headache?” he whispered. I nodded. “No wonder… you pulled out a lot of hair.”

“You look a lot better though.” I noted. Aiolos actually looked somewhat rested.

“Heh… yes. I got some rest after I finally got your fever to something more manageable last night. Coffee?”

“Does that go well with headaches?” I smiled. I was happy to see him.

“No, probably not. Um, some tea might help though. I’ll make you some.” He went out of the room.

Him exiting through the door was the strangest thing I had ever witnessed.

Right… there was a world out there.

“What day is it?” I whispered, looking around the windowless room. I thought about it and decided that ‘Saga’s dance’ was probably going to happen soon but I didn’t know exactly when.

 

Thinking made the headache worse so I stopped. I was in an empty room with nothing to look at which made not thinking difficult. But wait! The ceiling. I turned and faced Athena in all her glory. I looked at the saints surrounding her. Spotting Aiolos was easy, you just had to find the most _boring looking person._ I laughed at the thought. How was he so likable?

I next spotted Deathmask. I missed that guy. He seemed to understand my philosophy a lot back then… I realized I was in the crowd as well. Actually, it was probably depicting Saga but still, I don’t remember posing for this. Did the artist draw this from memory? Did Athena magic this ceiling into existence? So many questions so much HEADACHE!

I flinched at the sound of the door.

“You’re back!” I beamed. “’ve missed you!” I said and instantly regretted it. My own voice made my ears ring and my face flushed red with shame. Thankfully Aiolos thought it was a joke.

“I’ve missed you too.” He tied to be as quiet as possible. How kind… “It’s green tea, I hope you like it.” He handed me tea and some cookies. No, wait. He giggled as I realized that these were kavala cookies! I had nearly forgotten their sweet delicious almond glory! I ate one instantaneously, ignoring all pain.

“I figured you’d be hungry.” She smiled.

 

WHY WAS THIS MAN SO NICE TO ME? GOD I had missed these bloody cookies! It was hard not to cry of joy eating, it had been so long…

“Where did you even find these?? I thought they stopped selling them after Athena overthrew me.”

“Well, yes. Athena didn’t want the famous ‘Pope cookies’ around after you were gone. I, um, actually made them myself.”

What the actual fuck. It felt like a joke that I wasn’t in on. It felt wrong! Everything about this was wrong!

I put the cookie down for a moment. “Aiolos, why are you being so nice to me?”

“Please just eat them first.” He smiled innocently. “You’re still very weak.”

I didn’t mind doing that at all… Chewing hurt a bit but the flavour of the cookies seemed to dull the pain somehow… The beautiful aroma of the tea mixed well with the cookies as well. It was such a perfect meal… I had missed such pleasures. I relaxed and moved around a bit, softly stretching. Things hurt a bit less now.

“You’re such a cat.” Aiolos seemed delighted. I said nothing, I was in too much of a good mood to be bothered by him. “So, anyway, I put some painkillers in the cookies, looking at you I think they survived the baking process.”

“Oh. Yes, I do feel a lot better.”

“Is the headache-“

“The headache is still there…” I sighed. I still was grateful for the pain relief, even if it was minor.

“The painkillers should help with your fever too…” his hands on my forehead didn’t bother me so much anymore. “Yes, you should be feeling somewhat healthy by tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

He smirked. “What was that?”

Was he pulling my leg or did he actually not hear me? “THANK YOU- FUCK!”

THAT HURTS SO MUCH WHY DID I DO THAT!

 

Aiolos laughed at me as I clutched my head. I felt terribly insulted but at the same time I felt that his laugh was one of the most heart-warming things ever. It almost made me forget the HORRIBLE PAIN. I hid my emotions behind an ice-cold glare.

“I’m sorry…” he laughed.

“That was the most insincere apology ever.” I huffed, annoyed. He giggled. UGH, so cute. I watched him in silence until he finally stopped laughing.

“So, what’s the plan now?” I asked, avoiding his gaze.

Aiolos looked confused. “I help you get better some more? Oh, you mean after that!”

“Yes, you said I might be better by tomorrow.”

“Hm… I’m probably just going to tell him to cut you a break.”

Wow. I did a slow clap.

“Yep! Just cut him a break Saga! I know he’s dangerous and will totally fucking ruin your reputation but just do it for no reason, you know?”

“You’re not dangerous.”

“Rawr.” I said, combined with seductive hand motions. Was I really trying to be sexy right now?? Aiolos laughed. I decided that looking stupid was totally worth that.

“You have a point though... Saga hates you.”

“Everybody does.”

“I don’t!”

“Aiolos, stop defending me from myself!” I huffed.

“Ugh, fine...”

“Ok, now tell me that I’m right.” I said, calmly.

“You’re right but not entirely. That makes things a lot more difficult though...”

“Not really.” I admitted. “I mean, it would if I actually wanted to announce my existence but I don’t really care about that. I just want control now and again.”

“I see... but, um, that hot air balloon stunt-“

“Won’t happen again if Saga agrees to give me some freedom.”

 

“How much freedom are we talking here?”

“I have no idea.” I sighed in defeat. “I’d bargain with Saga but I doubt he would listen to me. Three hours a day would be nice to be honest.”

“We’ll that would usually not be much... except you’re Athena’s right hand man. You have duties at pretty much every hour of the day.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to do duties for Athena!”

“I’m pretty sure Saga doesn’t either from time to time. I bet he could just give you all of Thursday and Friday. That’s when he reaches his mental limit and starts whining about things.”

“He’s so annoying.”

“He’s my boyfriend. I love him.”

“Why??”

Aiolos sighed. “Because he’s kind and understanding? He tries to help everyone even at his own expense and I find that very endearing.” He touched his face in a cute way. “Kind of makes me want to take care of him, make sure he’s okay.”

“You’re such a mom person Aiolos.” I rolled my eyes. What a bunch of weirdos.

“Only to Saga. I’ve been told I’m pretty cold to everyone else. I don’t meant to but I tend to act very professional around the other saints.”

“Huh...” I tried to hide the fact that I was honoured to get to see his softer side but I struggled to find something else to say. “You’re super weird.”

Godamit Ares!

“Pfff, hah, I know you love me.” He was smiling. He was so fucking cute. I had to hide my attraction!!

“HA, yeah right.” Aiolos smile turned smug and I struggled to not go hide away in a corner FOREVER.

“Aww, I love you too.” He said it in such a mom way.

“Shut up.” I hid my annoyed expression behind my hands.

“Look at you, you’re getting better at emoting each second!”

“SHUT UP.”

“I think my friendship will do you good.”

I thought so too. I had never been praised for being open before. It was such a relief to be able to express my shitty feelings... but still. Some part of me still hated it. I felt so vulnerable!

I threw my pillow at Aiolos. I hit him right in the face. Bullseye! Expressing emotions BITCH! I was very glad that only Saga could hear my thoughts, otherwise people might think that I’m actually _extremely childish or something._

Aiolos laughed and threw the pillow back. I caught it, impressed by my own reflexes. Aiolos was probably right about me getting well soon.

 

“When Saga comes back, could you tell him to see me?” I asked.

“Can’t you two communicate with each other?”

“Actually no. Not really. We have to both not be in control in order to do that which rarely happens because Saga is so rarely in the Mindscape.”

“The what?”

“Oh, you’ve been there.” He hadn’t, I was thinking of my dream. “Uh... nevermind. Look, just tell him to do that. It’s been way too long since I actually talked to him in a serious manner. Without assuming he is a moron. Professionally. On the same level.” Aiolos seemed mad. “He DOES act like a child a lot.”

“Why are you being so mean to your brother?”

“Because he’s a weak piece of shit!” I said defensively.

“Would you like it if I called you that?”

“You wouldn’t.” That wasn’t a threat, that was a fact.

“Which is why we get along.”

I thought about it. “I don’t want to get along with Saga...”

“Why?”

“Because he always gets in the way!” I thought about all the times I hears him whining about my decisions.

“You probably get in his way too.”

“Good.”

Aiolos sighed. “Just... don’t insult him, ok? I can talk to him but you have to convince him.”

He was right.

I agreed. We had a deal.


	7. Saga

(Aiolos pov)

I was glad to have reached some sort of agreement with Ares. I was glad to be outside for a bit too… I brewed myself some coffee from the kitchen. Some of the maids came over and asked if I needed help with Saga, I politely declined.

“So, about all that noise you two make at night...” One of them said.

I laughed. “That’s why I don’t want help. I want him all to myself.”

Hysterical laughter.

The maids had been really stressed since Saga got ill, at this point they would laugh at pretty much anything. I waved them goodbye and went back to Ares. I was very lucky that nobody found out about what was really going on.

I sighed, if only Ares could act like a normal human being around others, then I wouldn’t have to take these huge measures to keep him a secret. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I wished this place had a window, the air was so heavy... Turning on the lights could be tricky, I really didn’t want to wake up Ares if he was still asleep so I waited for a while until my eyes got used to the darkness.

 

I heard the bedsheets move before I saw Ares sit up. He was looking around, confused.

“Morning.” I had remembered to get him a new glass since he broke the old one, which I filled up with water from the sink. „How are you feeling?”

“Alive... Is that you Aiolos?”

“I don’t know, how many people have the keys to this room?” I joked. It was a pain keeping people out.

“Aiolos!” Ares beamed. His reaction took me by surprise and again I asked myself the age-old question: Which personality is this?? I didn’t want to offend Ares... again... so I tried to avoid the question.

“I’m happy to see you too.” I giggled. Somehow, I had grown fond of the monster. He was a huge pain in the ass but it felt so rewarding to see his more human side. Up until recently I had thought he was nothing but pure evil, now I know that isn’t, well, ENTIRELY the case.

I lifted up the glass. “I got you some water.”

“Aiolos, it’s me!”

 

Fuck.

 

I don’t remember what happened to the water, I just remember grabbing Saga and pulled him close to my chest. I must have hugged him a bit too hard because the wheezed.

“I’m so glad to have you back.” I whispered softly as I loosened my grip.

“You don’t say!” he laughed. It was so good to hear him laugh. It had been so strange being so close to him all this time and talking to him as if we weren‘t lovers. It had been hard not to touch him. I closed my eyes and took in the moment.

“Why did it take you so long…?”

“Well, at first I cried.”

I sighed. “U-huh.”

“Don’t judge me!” he kissed me. It was a very angry kiss. “Ok, so when I was done with that Ares had already moved on from that whole balloon business...”

“Oh, so you know!”

“In the name of Athena, I wish I didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you stop him?” I knew he could. He told me he could, he was stronger now. Mentally. Way WAY stronger than Ares. Saga had been way more stable ever since we started dating and he told me it was this power that allowed him to supress Ares.

“I just....” he started, not knowing how to continue the sentence. I had a guess why he let things get so out of hand. “I just decided to focus on getting better instead of fighting for control!” He stated.

“He tried to kill me, you know.”

“Pfff, sick Ares couldn’t defeat YOU!”

“You are very heavy and he did jump on me repeatedly.”

 

It took him a moment to realize that he put me through some actual danger. I guess he had forgotten how powerful Ares really was.

 At that point Saga yelped and started crying and apologizing profusely. He sobbed into my shoulder about how sorry he was that he didn’t stop him and that he was... afraid. I had thought so.

Saga had told me how terrifying Ares was when he really wanted to, and he often wanted to. Not to mention that this WAS the guy that kept him in a prison of guilt and loneliness for years. Those were some pretty good reasons to be scared of someone.

“I‘m really sorry.”

I didn’t want to pressure him, hell, it broke my heart to even tell him this but I simply had to convince Saga to talk to his brother.

“You can’t shy away from fighting him anymore.” I whispered. Saga started crying again. “He’s dangerous and it’s your responsibility as much as mine to stop him if he ever gets out of hand.”

“I...” he paused. “I know I’m stronger than him I just...”

“I know.” I hugged him tightly. “Saga, I need you to talk to him.”

“WHAT?!”

 

Saga pushed me away in shock. I tried to calmly explain things to him.

“We can’t have him locked up all the time because we can’t have him randomly gain control and wreak havoc.”

“You can’t be serious...!”

“Saga, you know that I spoke to him about this... right?”

“Yes but I just figured you were lying...”

I paused for a moment. “Why?”

Saga tilted his head in confusion. “Because Ares was convinced of that too.”

 

Silence. Oh boy... Ares... You wouldn’t even trust your own shadow, would you?

“I meant it. Saga, you saw the state he was in. We can’t keep doing this to him, its way more dangerous than just-“

“Letting him out??”

“Just for a few hours? Yes, probably.”

Saga said nothing. Everything that needed to be said had been spoken. Saga knew what he had to do, now he just needed the courage to do it. I knew he could make this work.

I knew he could snap back control if Ares even did something stupid, Saga just needed to be able to confront him. I hoped that this would be the first step and that Saga would grow more confident after this but... part of me knew that Ares wasn’t as reasonable as he seemed to be.

“It’ll be fine.” I said. “We both know you can do it.”

“Maybe he has changed...”

“What? Well... maybe. He seemed pretty different to me, last time we spoke. He even promised to be nice to you.” Hm… wishful thinking.

“He promised he would try!” Saga laughed through the tears. “Maybe it’ll be like the old days. Back then he was so much nicer... Well, partially nicer. He didn’t wrestle for control and he didn’t try to hurt me all the time. Back when we were children, we actually got along. I hope... I hope I’ll get to talk to that Ares.”

“He’s still that Ares.” I said.

“I know... we both changed.”

“You both made mistakes... now is the time to make up.”

I hugged him tightly.

It was time.


	8. The Confrontation

“Saga!”  
“Ares.”  
“You actually came!”  
“Of course.” He seemed sincere. What a weirdo. No, now is not the time for that.  
“I wanted to talk to you. This is important to me.”  
He sighed. I could tell he felt guilty about what he did to me. Guilt... He always felt guilty. “About your freedom, right?”  
“What? No, about Aiolos!”  
“...what?”  
“He is SO CUTE.” I said matter-of-factly. “You picked such a great partner.”   
Saga couldn’t help but laugh. Seeing him relax a bit made me happy... why?   
I continued.  
“In all seriousness, I never realized how well you two fit together.”  
“Do you really think so?”  
He could tell. We shared the same mind, after all. „I do. I‘m proud if you.“ That made him cry. He always seemed to be in tears around me.  
“Ares... why? Why now? After all this time? Why are you being so nice to me? What changed??” he was crying but smiling at the same time. He seemed so happy about the fact, as if he didn’t believe it until just now... he knew, of course, that some time in control calmed me down. I also knew that some time alone calmed HIM down. He laughed the stress away, so glad that I finally hated him just a little less. What. A. Fucking weirdo!  
“Saga for fucks sake, do you EVER stop crying??”  
He laughed. “You’re such a jerk!”  
I let him get the emotions out. “I do want to talk about freedom. I know you don’t want me around but-”  
“No, Ares, that’s not it.”  
“Ugh, don’t lie to me.”  
“I’m not!” he whined. “You just CAN’T be around! Athena thinks you’re dead!”  
“Then, Athena is an idiot!”  
There was silence for a moment until we both remembered that nobody could hear us here.  
“She kind of is...” Saga mumbled.  
“Terrible at setting a time for events too.” I added.  
“Exactly! And she always makes me decide on the decor! I bet she has no sense of fashion.”  
“She is so not a threat.”  
“Hey, don’t twist my words!” Saga squeaked.  
“Fine, alright. Look, you can’t lock me up in here. Well, you can. And you did...”  
“I just... I didn’t want you to ruin everything. It was all going so well.”  
“Fair. Whatever. You can do it but if you keep doing it, I‘ll guilt trip you so hard you‘ll never want to show your face to me again.” I had put a lot of childishness in my voice but we both knew I was serious.  
He was silent. I knew it was coming but I still couldn’t handle it.  
“No. I won’t let you. I can’t have you ruin everything!”  
My eyes widened „You really are the devil!”  
“Ares, no!” he sobbed, like a loser. “Just, just please understand!”  
“Understand WHAT?!” I hissed, ready to fucking kill him the second he tipped me over the edge.  
“That- T-That...!” he was going to cry again. It was infuriating how quickly he got distracted by his own emotions. “That you freaking killed somebody the last time I gave you control!”  
“You wanted NOTHING MORE than to become pope. You said, you’d do anything until you chickened out at the last second.”  
“That’s because I realized exactly what we were about to do! I wanted to be pope but I never wanted to kill somebody! Never ever ever! It was all your stupid idea and when you killed him i just completely lost control! I have never stopped feeling that guilt, do you know that??”  
I sighed. “Yep!”  
“How much it hurt me that you fucking killed people with MY HANDS??”  
“I sure do!” I had listened to this on repeat every night before I dozed off back then. He would repeat it over and over and over.  
“I repeated it because that was all I felt! Miserable guilt! I never want to let you free ever again!” he sobbed. His face was too punchable to resist. I grabbed him by his collar and he squeaked. His pupils got cute and tiny as he realized that he had absolutely no place to escape.  
“So, YOU’RE the good guy?” I laughed wholeheartedly as I punched him right in the chest, knocking him off his feet. His limp body went flying and crashed into a tree. The tree shook but was otherwise fine. :)  
“You’re the hero who keeps the monster locked up inside? That is YOU?? Saga, tell me, do remember what this ‘monster’ used to be like? I mean, BEFORE you fucked me up?”  
I started walking towards him, I was in no fucking hurry. He had nowhere to run.   
“I remember the aggression growing with each day pretty clearly. Not being able to move does that to you.”  
“No, no!” he whined, hiding his face. “It wasn’t like that at all! Back then we were happy, I was happy!”  
I could take my time. “It’s always about you, isn’t it?“ I growled. „Its always about the poor imprisoned Saga! How he was helpless to watch! It’s never about me! Does anybody even THINK about the time that passed before I became Pope?! You never let me out back then either! WE WEREN’T FUCKING HAPPY!” I picked him up from the floor, he tried to get away but couldn’t. „Um, Saga?“ He was squirming and begging. Oh man… So hopeless. I steched and thought about how great it was that we were in the mindscape. How brilliant it was that even though in real life hitting a tree would permanently shatter your bones but here they would heal back within… well hours but still! I pondered how good it was for him that even though in the real world my fighting techniques could easily overpower Saga, here it was all about the strength of mind, DID YOU HEAR THAT SAGA?!  
“O-Oh! Right!” His own fear had clouded his mind. “Thank you...” he said shyly.  
“I’m not here to scare you brother. That’s not the point of this.”  
He just looked at me… before he uppercutted his way out of my hold. I let go of him and staggered backwards.  
“Look. I don’t hold what you did back then against you, we were kids. You were mean and never let me play, that’s normal. Some kids do that.  
BUT YOU ARE 29 NOW!”  
He came running and started throwing his firsts at me, hitting me with strength and momentum. “Saga, are you still a child?!” I knew the many weaknesses of this tactic. Dodging made him hit the air and lose his balance. “Do you really think this body is all yours?” I kicked his curled up body around.  
He grabbed my leg. „ Its mine! I’m stronger! I AM! Ares, you’re insane!!”  
“Ohhh! So now you’re on my side! I agree! The strongest should rule the weak!”   
I fell and hurt my knee when he pulled my leg. Kicking him in the face with my other leg made him let go.  
“T-That’s not what I meant!” He rolled away from me and got back up.   
“Then maybe we should share this toy. Let me play with it and I’ll be nice.” I growled.

“I know you Ares! You’ll ruin EVERYTHING!” He jumped on me before I had the time to get on my feet. He pushed me to the ground and held me down with one hand.  
“I’m really good at acting, you know. Do you remember how nobody realized that we were Pope?”  
“That is different. I know you. You’ll never act like ME, you hate everything about me!”  
“Fuck, if it means getting to take a fucking walk I’ll do it.”  
“LIAR!”  
He started punching me in the face with his free hand. The impacts made horrible sounds! I yelped and struggled to push him off me. It was hard to see what I was doing because of all the blood that had suddenly welled up on my face. I found Saga’s neck and pulled him close. A strong headbutt stunned both of us for a moment. I recovered quicker and switched up our positions, getting ready to punch his pretty face.  
“I just want to live Saga!” my punches were swift and strong and many. “Do you have any idea how this feels? Yes, you do!! It’s because we’re both morons and we keep repeating the same mistakes! It was a mistake that I locked you up back then. It really was and now you’re doing the Exact. Same. Thing.” I had considered the fight won until Saga caught my fucking first and crushed it with his single hand. I let out a scream of pain and quickly staggered away from him.   
He glared at me, his face half obliterated. “I’m not locking you away. I’m protecting everyone FROM YOU!” he roared. I shivered softly. He paused and I used the moment to shake my hurt hand, in the hopes of making it usable again. I panted, it felt like a ball of pain, something was clearly broken, this would defiantly make this fight a lot harder. I wiped the blood off my face and thought about what to do next. I didn’t want to lose another hand. With my non-destroyed hand, I grabbed a branch from a nearby tree and broke it off. I threateningly raised it but Saga just laughed. How DARE HE!  
“I used to be normal Saga! Being locked up is what made me so bloody fucked up IN THE FIRST PLACE! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! Do you know how it feels to scream and never be saved??” He strolled over to me and I couldn’t stop myself from backing off. “Do you know how it feels to break all your bones and be completely ignored?” I hissed. He was enjoying this unexpected turn of events quite a lot. “Do you know how it feels to get to see a brief shimmer of fucking hope in the form of this beautiful kind-hearted man just to have it ripped away instantly by the person you thought was your brother?? Do you?!”

I knew he had a lot of reasons to want to punch me as well but he had already taken his hate out on me by locking me away for months. When he arrived at the point I was just standing, he hugged the tree, as a demonstration of power he then pulled it out of THE EARTH. He smirked, putting the whole tree over his shoulder. I ran as he started swinging the tree around like a lightsaber. With each blow the momentum was carrying him just a bit in that direction. I waited for him to swing then got close and jump-kicked him in that direction! He let go and fell. The tree rolled away from him. I tried hitting him with my branch but the leaves got in the way terribly. Saga pulled the branch from my hand and threw it to the side. He was on the ground, furious, glaring at me, waiting patiently for my next move. I sat down, much to his surprise and started crawling towards him. There was something hypnotizing about the way I moved, I grabbed his belt and pulled myself up to his chest. He had expected me to attack and now he was struggling to think of something to do. I touched his forehead with mine.   
“You know now. I’ll make you feel every bit of pain you caused me Saga. Can you feel it now? I know you’re listening really closely to my thoughts in order to beat me. You can feel it too can’t you?”

My look was piercing, my breath slow.  
I could see the fear eating him up again, slowing down his reflexes and clouding his mind.   
Strangling him right now wouldn’t be a victory, Saga was far too powerful to be taken down by me and I had known that full well.   
Defeating him wasn’t the point.   
“It hurts.” I whispered.  
I did nothing as he punched me off of him. It hit the floor, breaking my arm and rolled twice before coming to a stop. I sighed. It hurts so much.

My left shoulder was aching terribly and my right hand felt hot and painful. It would surely pass if I waited, it always passed. I heard Saga get back up. My back was turned to him but I felt his look on me. He turned around and started walking away. I let my tears flow.   
I could have rubbed the fact that I was crying into Saga’s face but that wasn’t how I did things. The strongest wins, after all. I was going to silently accept my defeat and deal with it. I would. I could! The darkness started to creep back. N-No, I could accept this defeat and live like this! I tried to keep my heart from pounding. It was fine, things would be fine. My entire body was shivering. Was I crying? Was I scared??  
I tried to put my dark thoughts aside but they kept coming back. Icey air surrounded me. I wanted to die, I wanted to fade away. I felt so heavy. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Anything was better than being here all... alone. I... could feel the loneliness bubble up inside my chest already.  
“Ares.”  
I said nothing. I thought he should leave. I didn’t want him to see me like this.  
“Ares... I’m... not going to leave you to die here.”  
Yes, dying was impossible in the mindscape, way to rub it in jackass.  
“No, Ares! Don’t twist my words! I’m going to come back! I just need some time to think.”  
I hurt like hell but I sat up and turned just enough to see him. There was hair in my face and my vision was blurry with tears but I could still see him. He was hurt too, bleeding, smiling. He was serious. He was going to come back to me!  
I let out a sigh of relief and collapsed.


	9. The Dance

Saga had agreed to give me two days of the week. This, however, wasn’t one of them.  
“Brother!” I was angry.  
Saga was squirming under my gaze. “Please...?”  
“Did you just agree to my conditions because you wanted me to do this for you?”  
“What? No! Look, I just can’t do it! I don’t remember the moves and I have no rhythm and I’m afraid people are going to laugh at me. I feel like I’m going to ruin everything!”  
“Ugh, are you really sure you want ME to dance with YOUR boyfriend?”  
“Yes! Please please please!!”  
“You can’t just run away from situations like this!”  
“I’m not running, I’m making YOU deal with them! Brother, please please please!”  
I wasn’t complaining. In fact, I would be delighted to dance with Aiolos. But he wasn’t my boyfriend and it would be rude not to ask him as well.  
“What? Ares, no! Don’t ask him! Don’t even talk to him!”  
I ignored the voice in my head and went out on a quest to find the most handsome saint in town. I found Aiolos near the bar chatting to some other saints. I pulled at his arm and he followed me to a more secluded area. The saints were all being smug as if they knew what I was going to do to him. I got Aiolos into a quiet corner. I got closer to his face and whispered in his ear...  
“guees Who’s BACK BITCHES!!”  
I raised my arms in victory!! Aiolos collapsed onto the floor and hid his face in his palms.  
“Ares... Godamit, my ears...”  
I patted him on the back. “You okay?”  
“Yes. Don’t do that. Ever.” I laughed. “What about Saga?”  
“Saga panicked. I swear I’m not lying!”  
“The dance... right. I heard about it from a maid. Wait, is the dance not going to happen?”  
“Oh, it totally is.” I winked.  
Aiolos smiled defeatedly. “Ares. What are you suggesting??”  
“Saga wanted me to do the dance. I wasn’t supposed to tell you but I did because it would be very rude not to.”  
“Huh... yes, it would. I’m glad you told me!” I praised myself mentally. “I would love to dance with you but only if Saga agrees to be back after the spotlight is no longer on us.”  
The little voice in my head agreed wholeheartedly. “He would be delighted to.”  
“Well then!” Aiolos fixed his hair. “Would you like to dance?” He offered me his hand.  
I wiped the smirk off my face and took his hand in a professional but pleased manner. We went to the middle of the ballroom. The lights faded. Everyone was surprised! What morons... Saga scolded me for thinking that and the music started playing. There was a live orchestra at the ball and they were all very well dressed and did their jobs wonderfully. Everyone was looking their best tonight! I look the best dancing. Aiolos was clearly surprised by the ease at which I moved. Compared to Saga I had far better control over my body since I had spent hours training in hand to hand combat and, well, a little bit of dancing.

I took his hand and elegantly guided him through the dancefloor.   
“Dancing is so much more intimate than fighting.” I whispered, thinking about all the times I did the latter.  
“We’ve come so far.” Aiolos laughed.  
I helped him turn, he was very graceful. My hand seamlessly slipped from his back to his hip as we continued moving. Our audience was enjoying themselves, it felt like they couldn’t wait to do this exact thing to their own lovers. Aiolos got closer, this part required a lot more touch, he leaned back as I caught him just before his hair touched the ground. We were so close that I could hear his breathing. I could feel his heartbeat, it quickened when I refused to help him back up.  
“You look nice like this.” I admitted, gazing at his powerless figure.  
Aiolos sighed and laughed, he was used to my nonsense. I pulled him back up and our noses touched. Aiolos attempted to take over now, taking a bold step towards me. I let him, it was only fair. I changed my steps and so did he but whenever I would step I away I would be pulled right back, he barely even let go of my hand. He was always pulling me back towards him the second I got away. I bumped into him quite a lot trying to perform a turn but it was never on accident. This was really not how this dance was supposed to go. And yet... I found myself enjoying it.  
Clearly, not for the intended reasons, since Aiolos was dancing wrong. It wasn’t because I enjoyed the spotlight either because I would have enjoyed myself a lot more if nobody else had been here.   
I just felt that simply... watching the way his hair moved and his eyes flickered, feeling him close, feeling... trust, it made me happy. These were nice feelings, feelings I hadn’t experienced in an eternity. Though, there was room for improvement here.   
“You’re terrible at taking the lead.” I said.  
“You always have to ruin the mood.” Aiolos joked.  
“I thought you were so into bondage! I expected more.”   
I gasped as I was pulled closer and held tightly.  
“I can’t go all out, I have a boyfriend.” He teased. I pouted like an angry child.  
“Make an exception, I’M here with permission.”  
He tightened his grip even further as I started to regret this. It was really hard to move like this but I managed, the problem was that we were pretty much breathing the same air at this point and it was making me dizzy for a number of reasons. We were too close for comfort, that was already bad enough but it got even worse because every move was making our bodies rub at each other. I decided that this was torture. This kind of shit should be made illegal! I panted, was this some sort of sick, twisted punishment? I glared at him but he just smiled. Obviously HE was used to this! Touching his boyfriend was normal to HIM but I was losing my fucking mind over it! My body was heating up and my dancing became clumsy, amateur, I hated it. My face must have given me away because he cutely touched my nose with his and I tried to bite it instinctively.  
“Uuuh!”he said. “So aggressive.”  
“I never said I liked being forced into a position.”  
“Oh, you’re into it? I thought you liked it.” He let me twirl and held me at a much more comfortable distance.  
“That’s not it.” I whispered, mostly to myself. I did like it, a lot. Biting things just seemed to be my first reaction to new experiences.  
“I’ll be more gentle to you.” He teased. ARGH!!  
“THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT.” I hissed silently. Aiolos was having a fucking blast, it was annoying me all the way. I tried to keep my emotions under check for his sake and the audiences but honestly, at this point I had no idea what I was feeling and why.  
I got a bit used to his clingy dancing style though... it was endearing, as if he was afraid I would fall. It was like he wanted me close, to protect me. Protection? That had never been something I had concerned myself with. I tried to convince myself that this was reason enough to not like this man. We were clearly into different things! He liked his bondage and wanted to protect me from everyone but him and I wanted to take walks every Thursday. We had very different definitions of fun, clearly. I sighed and decided that it WAS nice being held close every once in a while, though. It wasn’t something I had any experience with but it just felt so right, so warm. I let myself be held by Aiolos as the music faded and the audience cheered. The claps were furious and a wave of love hit us from every angle.   
They were very impressed, of course. My body language was legendary after all. I bet they would bring their kids too next time just to see my performance... assuming Aiolos isn’t there to make me mess up.  
Aiolos looked at me and my narcissistic thoughts leaked out of my brain, leaving it completely empty. I should probably... uh... say something. Tell him to... let go maybe? But why would I ever want that?? I snapped out of it and apologized as I let go of Aiolos arm. He let me out of the hug and just laughed. What a weirdo.   
“You did like it.”  
“I DID NOT!!” I huffed. Why was I acting this way? I decided I would ask Saga about it later, the guy was an expert on emotions after all. Not to mention that it would make us even, now that this dance is done. Changing personality required a moment in which nobody is in control of the body, which meant that it would go limp for a second before being controlled again. Like a puppet.   
Obviously, Saga could kick me out as well but that resulted in the same phenomenon that is called weird fainting for about two seconds which meant we couldn’t switch in public.  
I told Aiolos I would go change in the bathroom and he joined me. I didn’t mind. I just hoped that he didn’t misunderstand the whole changing thing.  
“Holy shit, its empty!”  
The entire men’s bathroom was completely deserted.  
“Well, yes, everyone came to watch us!” Aiolos beamed.  
“Women maybe but the men?”  
“I’m a man and I would have come to see you. You’re really amazing, do you know that?”  
Me? Amazing? Obviously, I knew but I was the only person that ever seemed to notice. He noticed. He actually noticed my talent and decided to compliment me. It had been a while since... ugh since everything. I turned away from Aiolos and played with my hair. Why was he always so nice to me?? Why him? Why was he making me act so strangely?! I had been in love before but this was nothing like that. In any normal case of love, I would have liked the man and wanted to have sex with him, I wouldn’t have acted out. I had somehow managed to feel attracted to literally everything about this boring looking sexy man!  
It wasn’t just the way he looked and the way he moved, oh no no no! That would have made SENSE! Clearly, there wasn’t any room for logic in my fucked up emotions! I was surprised at his every choice, how he always seemed to think of me before everything else... Every word he said was making me lose my composure and I’ve had every word in the dictionary said to me in one context or another! What was it about him? What made him so different from all the others?! He couldn’t be! He was just another saint trying to do his job, he wasn’t even the best and yet he made my jaw drop at FUCKING EVERYTHING?? He wasn’t that good at talking so why did he make me feel this way?! And he wasn’t fucking smart either, was he?! Holy Athena, I just had to deal with all of this because he complimented me, if it wasn’t for Saga I would have called it black magic and stayed as far away from this man as humanly possible!  
“Can you turn around maybe? I can’t switch with you looking at me.” I said, as if this was what I had been thinking about all this time. He apologized, which made me feel TERRIBLE because of EVERYTHING and it made it easier to hand control to Saga. I cut the strings and handed control to Saga.  
I met my brother in the mindscape, he was laughing his ass off. “Black Magic!” He laughed. “Pfffffff!!!”  
I let him finish, tapping my foot in annoyance.  
“And you got sad because he apologized, oh Ares. You’re wonderful.” He coughed but couldn’t stop giggling like a schoolgirl.  
“Are you going to take over or what?” I hissed, offended.  
“Yes, haha, give me a second.”  
“Aiolos is waiting, you know.”  
“Of course you would care about THAT!” He burst into another fit of laughter and I seriously considered punching him in the face. I wouldn’t, he was my brother after all and I had grown strangely fond of him ever since we started being somewhat friendly to each other again. Saga awwed my thoughts and I punched him in the face.  
“STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!”  
“I can’t help it!” He said, smiling still. “Okay okay, I’ll go now.“ he couldn‘t wait to dance with Aiolos as well. “But we’ll talk about this later, alright?”   
I nodded and just like that, he was gone. I let out a sigh of relief as I lay down on the soft grass, enjoying the rattling of the leaves and the sound of wind. I still knew that Saga was kissing Aiolos right now but I tried to not focus on that. Neither did I want to correct his terribly out of sync dancing which thankfully nobody noticed except his boyfriend. Somehow Saga was even worse at dancing than him, making his mistakes even more apparent.  
“Want me to help?” I said.  
‘Please do.’  
I sighed before clapping with the beat of the song. It helped, surprisingly! Saga was doing a lot better already. I let the two have this moment and instead trained my punches with a nearby tree. How in the world did Saga lift this thing? It’s a tree, how do you even do that?! I punched it and it remained unphased which proved my point. I declared the mindscape a weird place and trained until late into the night.


	10. A Brotherly Talk

The stars had showed up. I loved this place at night, it was so beautiful. The night sky was impossible colours and filled with stars that just begged to be seen.  
I realized Saga was gazing at a night sky as well. He was outside, at the balcony and alone. I remembered that Aiolos was hanging out with the other saints back at the bar. Saga had let him go back there and drink just like he had been before i showed up.  
‘And screamed in his ear.’ Saga thought.  
Yes yes, fun times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how to continue this.


End file.
